As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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