If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
