She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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