you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
