You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
