If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
