I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
