That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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