That's intense
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Edward fifth and chaser hands
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
