need another drink. this is the easiest way
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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