Your tits are I can't wait for
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
