No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
