This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
