i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
