did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
