GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
