I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
