OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
