so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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