Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Damn victory sex feels great
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
