I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I cut my penus on the lid.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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