She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
