Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
