He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize
