I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
