Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
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