if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
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He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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