Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
