lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
