Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
