bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
