I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
