marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
