i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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