So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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