plz talk dirty to me
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
