return my video game
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
