She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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