I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
We need to rekindle our bromance
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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