You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
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my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
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I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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