when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
