You don't have asthma, your pregnant
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
