party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Randomize
