I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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