I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
