I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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