Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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