Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
