so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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