he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize
