girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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