a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
