Texts From Last Night

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  (440): View more from Ohio

  I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.

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  (440): I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot. http://tfl.nu/w3xr
  Replies (14) Good night (867) Bad night (2479)
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  (+44): View more from England

  Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.

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  (+44): Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms. http://tfl.nu/jipl
  Replies (12) Good night (807) Bad night (5084)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.

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  (508): she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her. http://tfl.nu/2xab
  Replies (50) Good night (872) Bad night (3526)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...

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  (910): Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table... http://tfl.nu/b55w
  Replies (6) Good night (3725) Bad night (837)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.

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  (630): She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her. http://tfl.nu/01f3
  Replies (12) Good night (5783) Bad night (623)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"

  (231): View more from Michigan

  OMG its one we used last night

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  (231): Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing" (231): OMG its one we used last night http://tfl.nu/jpyf
  Replies (19) Good night (1169) Bad night (9299)
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...

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  (320): Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting... http://tfl.nu/4ynh
  Replies (23) Good night (2016) Bad night (5398)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.

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  (843): Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean. http://tfl.nu/s35t
  Replies (9) Good night (4718) Bad night (1127)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?

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  (918): Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision? http://tfl.nu/w6zq
  Replies (9) Good night (2766) Bad night (552)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!

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  (832): i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?! http://tfl.nu/yoqa
  Replies (9) Good night (2149) Bad night (492)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.

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  (309): It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change. http://tfl.nu/p0m1
  Replies (14) Good night (1215) Bad night (1079)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?

  (1-804): View more from Virginia

  Do you have any forwarding contact info?

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  (804): Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface? (1-804): Do you have any forwarding contact info? http://tfl.nu/ibaz
  Replies (3) Good night (811) Bad night (294)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car

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  (469): I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car http://tfl.nu/2mv3
  Replies (2) Good night (307) Bad night (656)
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  (585): View more from New York

  I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?

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  (585): I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here? http://tfl.nu/2f90
  Replies (0) Good night (272) Bad night (779)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.

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  (908): On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ. http://tfl.nu/spxo
  Replies (1) Good night (496) Bad night (227)

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