Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I have tasted many bathrooms
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize