Texts From Last Night

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  (646): View more from New York

  Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?

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  (646): Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"? http://tfl.nu/cjp8
  Replies (7) Good night (1195) Bad night (593)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.

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  (773): hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her. http://tfl.nu/rlge
  Replies (8) Good night (979) Bad night (863)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.

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  (703): I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like. http://tfl.nu/tgx7
  Replies (33) Good night (1304) Bad night (2843)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning

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  (603): i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning http://tfl.nu/3q6t
  Replies (10) Good night (1098) Bad night (4406)
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  (607): View more from New York

  haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.

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  (607): haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook. http://tfl.nu/7oed
  Replies (54) Good night (18967) Bad night (1027)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.

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  (770): ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you. http://tfl.nu/3bx1
  Replies (13) Good night (879) Bad night (4380)
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant

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  (229): College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant http://tfl.nu/1flc
  Replies (67) Good night (5818) Bad night (1780)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.

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  (417): I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it. http://tfl.nu/weos
  Replies (10) Good night (969) Bad night (4451)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while

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  (+61): I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while http://tfl.nu/v6v9
  Replies (2) Good night (634) Bad night (414)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet

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  (201): I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet http://tfl.nu/6676
  Replies (0) Good night (743) Bad night (436)
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  (818): View more from California

  Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.

  (818): View more from California

  Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.

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  (818): Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history. (818): Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night. http://tfl.nu/hwf0
  Replies (6) Good night (401) Bad night (1247)
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  (650): View more from California

  Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around

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  (650): Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around http://tfl.nu/5sia
  Replies (1) Good night (485) Bad night (327)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  So how'd the job interview go?

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward

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  (303): So how'd the job interview go? (1-303): well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward http://tfl.nu/k32f
  Replies (4) Good night (542) Bad night (521)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.

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  (334): I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride. http://tfl.nu/5x6l
  Replies (4) Good night (359) Bad night (175)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?

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  (813): Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls? http://tfl.nu/wqos
  Replies (6) Good night (406) Bad night (213)

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