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• (845): View more from New York

  i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (214): View more from Texas

  No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.

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• (212): View more from New York

  You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.

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• (631): View more from New York

  Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.

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• (209): View more from California

  we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (773): View more from Illinois

  Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.

  (1-773): View more from Illinois

  I love you football head

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• (712): View more from Iowa

  Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.

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• (310): View more from California

  I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.

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• (801): View more from Utah

  Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?

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