i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess