Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.