I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
