i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
